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Many of you know that I’ve run three different Covens in my lifetime. The latest of these – Mystic Star Coven – went on hiatus a little over a year ago. We had practiced together for nearly two years. Of course, during such a time frame, people come and go. Not everyone sticks around, usually because the person decides that our particular way of doing things just isn’t for them. And of course, that’s fine.

But over time, you soon begin to realize who your “true friends” are. They generally stick around in all of the tough times of running such a group. The true friends are there for the long haul, and they don’t take anything you do as a group lightly. These are the most memorable members of any Witch’s Coven.

One such person was Angela Fugatte. She arrived not long after the group’s inception. In the beginning, there were four of us. Then we added one, and two left. Then Angela came along, making four of us. Finally, we added one more, making five, and then one of the founding Members left to follow her own path – and that left us with four again.

Of course, you can’t hold anything against the people who leave. They’re off exploring their own paths, which we all must do. The journies we take are very uniquely our own. If we can share that with a group, so much the better, but you obviously don’t want to stick around with a group of people whose ideals are not your own. And this is understandable.

But Angela hung in there with us for a long, long time. Through all of my decisions and thoughts and meanderings on changing the way Mystic Star “did things,” Angela was there. Granted, she had never been involved with a group like ours before, but her advice was always spot-on.

Angela was, of course, a daughter, a wife and a mother, herself. But to us, she was Sister. And we will remember as such.

Today, at 4:30 p.m. eastern, we will be holding a special service for Angela. Our Sister passed away this past Thursday at the age of 27. We will remember her for participating with our group. We will remember her for her smiles and laughter. We will remember her presence within all of the rituals that we held – especially where things went a bit haywire. (We had such amazing times.) But above all, we will remember her for who she was in this life – our Sister.

And while her body is no longer present with us, we know that her spirit lives on. I personally honor all of Angela’s contributions to us as a group, but I also honor her wisdom, strength and purity of spirit. We will miss you, dear Sister.

And while these words have been spoken by many, they are never as true as when a beloved Sister of the Craft passes into the next realm: merry have we met, merry we part, and merry shall we meet again. Blessed be, Angela.

The darkness and the light. The day and the night. The movement and the stillness. The hard and the soft. The open and the closed. The above and the below. What are these pairs of words? They are thoughts on polarity. And polarity, as we know, is inclusive of both men and women, the male godform and the female godform. But aren’t we a bit unbalanced as modern groups go?

I couldn’t help myself. In coming up with a new article (which I’ll probably post later, after it’s been fully revised and edited a couple of times), I ran across a poem in a book that I studied long ago. The book is called Be A Goddess, by Francesca DeGrandis. Here’s the poem (one of my faves):

I am the Goddess’s Beloved.
My lungs take in Her breath.
My veins run with Her red.
Blessed are the feet
that have walked my path
of trials and pleasure.
My hands are Her hands.
I am God as surely as
I created the universe at the beginning.
I need bow down before no one
nor before any deity.
My body is Her body,
glistening with the sweat of stars.
My tears and my sex are Her gifts;
I bestow these as I will.

Goddess within and without,
fill me with the light
that exposes evil;
fill me with the light
that evil flees from;
fill me with the light
that illuminates me in my hiding,
that I may come from my hiding
and bathe in the joy of the light.

Fabulous, isn’t it?

I performed a ritual today. I did it because I needed inspiration for the book that I want to write. I’m not sure if I got it. LOL

I set up circle and altar in the living room. In the east, I put the yellow quarter candle, the wand, and the incense container. In the south, I put the red quarter candle and my athame. In the west, I put the blue quarter candle and the cup of water. In the north, I put the green quarter candle, the bowl of salt, and the elemental pentagrams altar tile. I covered the footstool with a green altar cloth and put it in the east. I put on it the God and Goddess candles, the Spirit Flame Candle, the libation dish, a cracker, and the Coven’s Chalice with a bit of grape juice in it.

I donned my robe and jewels, and then grabbed my staff. I processed to circle with the chant, “I go down to the circle, to stand between the worlds; I go down to the sacred place, to commune with the Gods of old.” I sang it three times, and then started walking. When I got into the area, I changed the lyrics to, “I stand in the circle, to stand between the worlds; I stand in the sacred place, to commune with the Gods of old.”

Then, I lit the Spirit Flame Candle, saying, “I call upon all the powers of the Divine to aide me in my magickal rite.” Then, I cast the usual triple circle of violet flame.

Next, I picked up my athame and called the quarters. I called Star Finder in the east, Shining Flame in the south, Water Maker in the west, and Black Mother in the north. I neglected – or rather forgot – to call Heaven Shiner (above), Fire in the Earth (below) and Guardian of the Gates (within).

After that, I again took up the staff and called on Cerridwen, saying, “Great Cerridwen, Cauldron of Transformation, I invite your presence at my ritual. I ask for the inspiration and ability to write so well that [deleted publisher's name] will have no choice but to publish my book. Hail and merry meet.”

Then I called on Cernunnos, saying, “Great Cernunnos, Lord of the cycle of life, death and rebirth, and Lord of the animals, I invite your presence at my ritual. I ask for the inspiration and ability to write so well that [deleted publisher's name] will have no choice but to publish my work. Hail and merry meet.”

Then, I lit the Goddess and God candles. And I sat, and drummed, with the hood over my eyes. I felt as though I began to go into a trance, but it didn’t go far beyond that. Then I felt I should stop drumming, and I did so. I sat in silence for a few minutes, contemplating, attempting to see something in the blackness behind my eyelids. Unfortunately, nothing significant came, unless you count the usual spirals behind the eyelids, and a silent whisper inside that said, “Write of the spiral, the cycles.” Of course, I do plan to do that in my book, whatever form it takes, but so far, I don’t feel very inspired.

At any rate, I did perform the ritual, and I am hoping and believing that further inspiration will strike. Because right now, I’m stuck. And I don’t want to be stuck. I was told to have patience, but it doesn’t seem like “hurry up and wait” is going to serve my end at the moment.

The altar should be set with the usual tools. For all my intents and purposes, the altar is permanent. The wand is in the east, along with a wooden stick incense burner; the athame is in the south; the chalice is in the west; the pentacle is in the north, along with a bowl of salt.

There are other things on the altar, as well, including: the four elemental candles, a libation dish, a cauldron, images of Cernunnos and Morrigan, a vase of fresh flowers, two white candles (representing the Goddess and God), and a burgundy candle between those two (called “The Spirit Flame Candle,” also known as “The Mother Candle,” to some traditions).

 I stand in front of the altar facing east. I say, “To the powers of the east – Star Finder,” and draw a yellow pentagram in the air with the first two fingers of my power (right) hand.

Then I turn ¼ turn and face the south, say, “To the powers of the south – Shining Flame,” and draw a red pentagram in the air.

Next, I turn ¼ turn again, say, “To the powers of the west – Water Maker,” and draw a blue pentagram in the air.

Then, I face the north, say, “To the powers of the north – Black Mother,” and draw a green pentagram in the air.

Facing the east again, I look up, say, “To the powers above – Heaven Shiner,” and draw a “transparent” (or black-outlined) pentagram in the air above me. Then, I look down, say, “To the powers below – Fire in the Earth,” and draw a black pentagram below me. Then I say, “To the powers within – Guardian of the Gates,” and draw a violet pentagram over myself. (For this, I touch my right hip, my forehead, my left hip, my right shoulder, my left shoulder, and back to my right hip).

 Then, I pray. Usually, I start by addressing everyone with the phrase: “Guardians, Guides, Ancestors, Morrigan, Cernunnos, Cerridwen, Enrile, Hestia, Kwan Yin, Gods and Goddesses All.”

Next, I praise them, usually with something similar to, “Great Ones, I appreciate and love you all so much. The marvelous and wonderful things you have done in my life never cease to amaze when I glance back at all of it.” Then, I usually ask for what I want, which is normally, “Great Ones, today, go before me, and prepare my way before me, making my day easy, fun and prosperous.” Sometimes, I ask for some other things more specific.

Next, I say, “I thank you for all the wonderful things you’ve done for me in the past, all the wonderful things you’re doing for me now, and all the wonderful things you are planning for my future. Hail, Great Ones. And so it is.” And that’s usually it.

Sometimes, I may add a libation, or change the phrasing just a slight bit, or light the Spirit Flame Candle until I’m finished praying. But it’s not terribly complicated, and it’s relatively quick. And I can always feel the Great Ones with me throughout the day after that – usually I’m smiling for the rest of the day, too.

Well, let me see. Since last I’ve written, we’ve had a Full Moon ritual, designed by Lily, who also gave us a ritual design/basic tools class. It has been quite interesting, actually.

About a month ago, I aspected Cernunnos here at home all by my lonesome. Cernunnos came through, and all I really asked for was inspiration for a ritual to perform for Him for Litha. But I got more than I bargained for.

When Cernunnos came in, He piped up that He would be my Patron Deity if I wanted Him to. Of course, I accepted the offer, and we’ve had great fun since then.

The truth of the matter is that, whenever I pray to Cernunnos in the mornings, doing my daily devotional before going to work, I have the most wonderful days. It isn’t just Cernunnos, of course, but all my guardians, guides, ancestors and all the gods and goddesses I’ve attempted relationships with.

The point is: I don’t think anymore at all that “all gods are one god and all goddesses are one goddess and there is one initiator.” (That’s a Dione Fortune quote, I believe.) No, quite the contrary, I hold to the idea now that all gods and goddesses are individual forces and entities in and of themselves, and that they desire relationships with us humans. I don’t hold to the idea that they are psychological constructs, either, or archetypes to be worked with solely for healing the subconscious mind and our personal issues. Rather, I believe they are great self-existent – both independent and interdependent – spirits in and of themselves. And I am glad to have had this experience and shifted to this line of thought. I wasn’t getting any kind of results at all with the mode of thought that they were all just psychological constructs.

Today was Mystic Star Coven’s Beltane ritual. Gwyneth designed it. We went to Tom Sawyer park, in a nice, secluded little area behind some trees, sort of a circular area. Gwyneth had set up the altar. (I picked up Lily and Neimhe Gealach in my car for the drive – saves gas and not so hard on the environment ‘cause we were “poolin’” – and unfortunately I tried to take us through back roads to avoid highways and ended up lost. We got there eventually with Lily’s knowledge of the area we were in, but we had to back track a bit to get there. It’s okay, though.) We were about ½ hour late. But when we did get there, Gwyneth (whose first group ritual to lead it was), Jae, Lily, Neimhe Gealach and myself had a great time during the ritual. I have no idea where Silver Hawk was, though, as he’d said he was going to come. He wasn’t there.

The Coven Council meeting after at Bob Evans™ went well, too. We didn’t have any disagreements. We pretty much went with the flow. (That’s why I like consensus groups – we go with the flow and whatever is good, so long as it is good for all of us and we don’t have to worry about harming the environment or someone else in the process.)

I felt a flow of energy today, which is good. For the past few times we’ve had ritual, I’ve not really felt that much of a flow, save for the Full Moon, where we raised energy for magickal purposes. Though I’ve felt a Presence, it’s not been a hugely immense one, and so not very flowing. But I did feel some flow today, which I enjoyed. I think we had to give it more time to create a more deep group mind before the energy actually started flowing.

I’m designing the Litha ritual. I’m all aghast as to what to do. First, I wanted to aspect Cernunnos, and I think that would be fun. (By the by: Lily is drawing down the moon during the Full Moon ritual on the 11th of June.) But the question then becomes, do I really feel comfortable aspecting Cernunnos around this group of folks. It can be a highly intense experience. I also have been working on adapting a ritual from the Woven Way Tradition – you know the one: the family making ritual. It’s the one where the people take the left wrists of the person next to them and recite a chant round-robin style, and then sing the She Stood Alone “Creation” song. Well, anyhow, I’m confused now, as to which of the two I want to do. Combining the two would just take way too long.

I’m also scheduled for the 17th of May to teach a Cosmology/Ritual Etiquette/Magickal Ethics class. I can’t wait for that, too. You know I love the triple world cosmology – the Shamanic Cosmology – concept. Upper/Sky Realm, Middle/Earth Realm, Under/Lower Realm, along with the triplicate human (macrocosmology – LOL). It seems strange for me to be teaching classes again. I haven’t done that since I left the Gardnerian [Addendum: I have since discovered that the group I was with was not Gardnerian, but Sarakellian, which has since been renamed to Serpent's Eye Tradition.] group way back at the age of 16. But, hey, at least it is a class that is pertinent to our group.